twenty more

20 more words to say how i feel, with 20 more ways of expressing how i love. 20 more looks of deceit and forgiveness, followed by 20 more tears of hope and despair. 20 more beats of my broken heart and 20 more steps before i hit the ground....

i hit the ground and i am done,
i'm done pretending i can muster up the power to make myself look happy,
i'm done looking at my reflection and seeing something other than who i am,
i'm done wishing i was there and not here....

from now i want to be here, for when i am here i am present,
and finally i am beginning to believe that my presence is a gift.
that i have been tightly bound, just waiting to be unravelled.
see the thing is, the only person who could unravel me is....me.
so i'm here, i'm ready, my naked mind will spin 20 truths,
and in 20 years, i'll be waiting for you to unravel too.